I don't know why I thought I could go put flowers on one of my best friend's grave for Valentine's Day and be ok. Maybe because I haven't been crying as much lately? I don't know. Maybe what made it harder was going and then seeing her parents there. I still don't know what to say to them. I didn't say much. Thank god for sunglasses also. I just put down the flowers and the water and stood there for a few minutes, missing my friend and feeling so bad for interrupting her parents visit. Her mom reached for my hand as I left but I only held it for a second before I walked away because I was so scarred I would start crying and not be able to stop.
I was fine til I called Fabiola and heard her voice. I feel so bad calling her and just crying when she's got so much other stuff to deal with but I know she understands. I really wish she would come home.

I hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day.