"Realizations"

Countdowns: 14 days til Goo Goo Dolls in concert; 22 days til Jay-Z in concert; 36 days til Anger Management Tour.

Song of the Day: Turn Off The Light by Nelly Furtado

Hey Ya'll!! Well Nick is in Cali for a few days and I plan on putting my self in a diaryland coma!! Yesterday, after he left, I became a diaryring whore and joined a whole bunch of rings. If you like, click on my link and I think you'll get a good sense of what I am like. I put the link up all by myself too. Well Lainey helped but when I messed up I fixed it! I am very proud of myself if you can't tell because I am so computer illiterate.

Anyways, so the other day I find out that from Bitchy that Nick's best friend is getting married. OK. That's cool. Then I find out that the wedding is this Saturday. OK again, I guess. Then, I find out Nick is in the wedding. What the hell? THEN, I find out that Nick is not only in the wedding, he is THE BEST MAN! WTF?!?! How come I am the last to find out? I don't know why but him not telling me kinda hurt my feelings. I mean I KNOW we aren't that close, but still when you are doing something that big you should tell the people around you. I don't know, I guess I am just being silly. Anyways, apparently, my family was invited, but in typical Bitchy fashion, she is being anti-social and not going, which means Wimpy isn't going either. She wants me to go though so me and Nick can take a "nice picture together". When she said that I looked at her like she was on the crack and she was like "What?" I tell her, "Did you forget the picture that I bought that we took for CHRISTMAS?" She was like "Oh yeah". Anyways, I might crash it with Ida, Kai, and maybe Cris and Elaine but I'm not sure yet. I don't even know where it AT!! And besides, it's not crashing if you were invited! But, we'll see.

So I got an email from some who found my diary. It makes me wonder how they came across it. So if you are reading this by any chance, drop me a line in the guestbook and let me know how you found me because it really interests me to know. Plus, I like getting guestbook entries. It makes me feel loved!

Well, how is this irony for the Ghetto Queen. I FINALLY decide on what I want to do in college and I might not be able to go this semester unless I get a job within the next few weeks. You see, Bitchy and Wimpy don't want to fill out financial aid papers for me because they are stupid. So because of their stupidity, which started in 1998 when I graduated in high school, I flat out told them that I would not go to school then if I had to pay for it. They didn't think I was serious until last year when my dad was going to school and they didn't have enough money for me (BTW for Wimpy to go to school financial aid papers were filled out. Isn't that some shit?). Anyways, they thought I would give in and pay for school myself especially since I had just started working full time. HA HA! They didn't count on me getting fired and paying my bills instead (that pissed Bitchy off but I didn't care). Anyways, because of me liking to have my bills paid and creditors not calling my house, if I go to school this semester, I won't have any money to pay my bills when I pay the tuition, thus getting me further in debt. I will find out in the next three weeks though. I appreciate them paying my bills but I am really sick of everyone thinking that school is one big joke and can be sacrificed at any time. I am sick of being the one who gets no respect. I was the one who was working AND going school AT THE SAME TIME for more than a year and a half. I was the one who consistently had a job. I am the one who is (and has been) looking for a job to make sure my bills can get paid so I can go to school and get my degree instead of going on vacations, with money we don't have, to California to play video games. I am sick of it.

Wow. This wasn't even what I was going to talk about. Oh well. I need to go listen to some *NSYNC or Janet. I need to get into a better mood. More laters.
Love, shana =) '02